He owns a mansion, but he doesn’t live there,
He’s afraid of paying tax and all that stuff,
He’s got friends who live in boxes,
But he could binge in France if he wants,
He knows people who watch TV & films,
He could buy Hollywood and New York,
But he lives in cardboard boxes,
And wonders why it has to be.

She’s alright because she says so,
She’s alright.

Why does it have to be me,
Why does it have to be me,
Why can’t it just be you,
Am I a sexual toy?

He has a duffle coat which smells of piss,
He doesn’t wash it, incase it shrinks,
He buys cigarettes in packs of one,
Twleve pence each sounds like a bargain to him,
His two bank accounts are different,
One for pence and one for thousands of pounds,
But his cardboard box is getting damp,
And he enjoys the life of a new age tramp,

She’s alright because she says so,
She’s alright.

Why does it have to be me,
Why does it have to be me,
Why can’t it just be you,
Am I a sexual toy?

So he sells his cardboard box to me,
Deluxe model with air vents and bar codes,
He’s gone moving off to Pakistan,
To become a tycoon in tea,
Why did he ever leave us,
He should have stayed in Juventus for free.
Why did he ever leave us
I guess it will always be a mystery

She’s alright because she says so,
She’s alright.

Why does it have to be me,
Why does it have to be me,
Why can’t it just be you,
Am I a sexual toy?